Too shy to travel?

by Marielle
(Netherlands)

I'm not really going to travel solo, but it feels that way for me. I'm joining a group travel to Egypt with an Egyptologist as our guide.
I'm really looking forward to it (big ancient Egypt fan and we'll visit all monuments and all), but since I'm the only ancient Egypt lover in my family and friends circle, I'm going "alone" (within the group).

The thing I'm not very good at, is getting in touch with other people on a journey.

I mean, probably a lot of people will have subscribed to the journey together or with their family you know? They have each other. And I'm there alone. And I'm shy and timid and maybe a little afraid of people I don't know and fear that I'll feel alone despite the fact that I'm traveling with a group. A lot of the hotels will have breakfast and dinner, so we'll eat as a group, but there are also nights when you have to acquire your own dinner and I really don't want to do that alone...

That shyness can't probably be overcome in a week or so, but I was wondering if you might have some tips for me (and I still have time until November).

Or perhaps there are even some sort of courses you can do to overcome timidity? (I'm just guessing here.)

Well, any tips you can give will be very much appreciated and thank you so much for your beautiful website and the time you take to answer all of our questions.

Answer: I wish I could help you with your shyness - but I can't. What I can do is share a few experiences and a bit of information that might make your travels easier.

First, I'd stop focusing on your shyness and the people around you - and begin focusing on Egypt. You're all going on this tour because you're fascinated by Egyptian civilization - not because you want to meet one another and spend time together. Even if you are going without friends or family, you already have plenty in common with the other travelers: Egypt itself. So you won't be lacking for conversation. Believe me - people travel to see places, but also to meet new people. They can talk to one another at home. Of course there will always be one or two who prefer to stick to themselves, but they're more the exception than the rule.

Now, the eating out alone issue. It doesn't have much to do with shyness - most women (and many men) are daunted by the thought of eating out solo. In fact I've received so many questions about this issue that I wrote a page on solo dining for that very reason. I used to hate dining alone - until I developed some coping mechanisms that at least allowed me to get through a meal without hyperventilating. Now, it doesn't bother me at all, but that took a lot of work and it didn't happen overnight.

Finally, one tip that works for me when I'm a bit overwhelmed is to just 'pretend' and act as if the situation is different. I know it sounds odd but sometimes, if you take a certain action, your thoughts will fall into place rather than the other way around. So - why not give it a try?

One last word: a relatively avant-garde technique people use to get rid of phobias, fears and negative emotional baggage is something called Emotional Freedom Technique, or EFT. There's plenty about it on the web - just Google it. I have no idea whether it can help but again, you have nothing to lose.

As for me, I think you'll have an extraordinary trip to Egypt!

If you can, try to stop worrying about it and think about the wonderful and extraordinary experience of seeing Ancient Egypt first-hand. And please do come back and share your experiences with us!

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