How to Learn Cultural Etiquette and Overcome Differences
If you're a solo backpacking woman, you'll need to learn cultural etiquette, if you haven't already.
Not all cultures think solo travel for women is normal - so those of us who travel on our own have learned to adjust.
In some societies, solo women travelers are objects of pity -
women who haven't been able to find a man. In others, they're 'fair
game' - if you're traveling alone, you must be 'easy'. Understanding
cultural differences can help unravel these travel conundrums.
Remember, some people only know Western women from television
- the ones that think all American women are like those on Desperate
Housewives! Being culturally sensitive isn't just a matter of courtesy,
but also a matter of safe travel.
Whether you're heading around the world, starting a stint of volunteer work overseas or simply visiting a new country for the first time, you're bound to encounter some level of culture shock.
Your guidebook should have long lists of dos and don'ts for each country but here are just a few examples of the advice you might find during your research:
- In Buddhist countries, a woman should never touch a monk - on a bus or in a vehicle, try to sit in the row in front or behind him
- In many Latin American countries and still in certain parts of Spain, be prepared for unwanted male attention
- it shows appreciation of your beauty (or simply of your being
female). Get ready to cope with wolf whistles, catcalls, lewd noises...
but you don't have to stand for it.
- Don't chew gum in public (parts of Europe, Asia)
- Don't show anger (most Asian countries) or yell at people (much of Africa)
- Many cultures don't like saying No - so people will say they'll try (India) or maybe (Japan) - don't be misled: this means No
Cultural etiquette may deal with serious issues, such as gender
equality, but often centers around meals or social and work lives,
whose rules may leave you perplexed.
What if...
- each person that walks into or out of a room shakes hands with everyone every time (Colombia) or kisses each person (Spain)
- everyone calls you by your first name, including in business settings (South Africa)
- people think you're rude if you point with a finger (almost everywhere)
- closed shoes (even men's shoes) are more acceptable than open-toed sandals, however elegant (don't show your toes to officialdom in Bali!)
- you're invited to a sauna but the first request is that you take all your clothes off - in front of men and women you've never met before (Finland)
- people stare if you cut your salad with a knife (Switzerland and France)...
This is just a sample, but see how easy it is go to wrong?
Coping with Cultural Differences
There's virtually no chance your cultural etiquette will be perfect as you travel, so here are a few travel tips on how to better cope with at least some of those cultural differences.
- Look around you at other women. How do they behave and
dress? Do as they do and you'll go a long way towards evening out those
cultural differences. A friend of mine traveling in India noticed a
radical attitude change towards her once she swapped her Western
clothes for a local salwar kameez. You may not like it, but you will most often be judged by what you wear.
- See yourself through other eyes. Don't underestimate the
power of television, which in some countries is the only window into
Western culture. If you dress or behave like actresses on TV, men will
think you also do everything else they do. Even looking a man in the
eye or touching his arm may mean 'I'll sleep with you' in some parts of
the world so beware the local customs. It may offend you to abide by
these rules - and I often don't - but it does help keep you out of
trouble.
Television shows shape many attitudes
Photo: Perry Marco via Flickr
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- Learn about body language. Nodding your head may mean Yes in
your culture, but it means No in Greece or Bulgaria. The circle you
make with your thumb and index when you mean OK is extremely rude in
several countries. So is crossing your legs, touching someone on the
head, eating with your left hand, or showing the sole of your shoes or
feet. And the list goes on. Make sure you read up on etiquette before
you go.
- Check out the country's style. Not in clothing, mind you,
but in character. Cultural differences affect behaviour - what you
consider as being direct may be interpreted as impossibly rude. So
are most public displays of affection. Don't be aggressive - most
societies don't think highly of that trait. Punctuality is another of
many cultural differences - in many countries be late (or early!) at
your own peril.
- Beware the status of women. This is a hard one to accept but
is pervasive. In many parts of the world women are considered inferior
to men, and this will often come across in the simplest things - like
ignoring your question or giving the answer to a male friend, if you
happen to have one along.
- Simply be aware, open and informed. You'll never get
everything right - nor should you try. Some things are unacceptable. Still, cultural etiquette does exist and you can't be
expected to know everything: how are you supposed to guess that
drinking a soda while you walk is rude, or that the placement of your
chopsticks can imply you are uncouth? You can't, unless you've done
your research beforehand, or better yet, taken the time and trouble to
ask local people questions as soon as you arrive.
The good news is that as a foreigner, you'll probably be forgiven
a few lapses in cultural etiquette expertise. Laughter will get you out
of most scrapes caused by cultural differences, and you'll learn your hosts' habits. That
doesn't mean you should follow blindly, though. I have worn veils in
Algeria and Iran, but no way would I ever condone the wedding of an
eight-year-old, as happened recently in Saudi Arabia. There's clearly a
limit.
Additional Travel Etiquette Resources
Cultural Etiquette - plenty of good information by country
Another country-by-country site with culturally appropriate behaviour
Yang Liu - graphic designs on East/West cultural differences
Where to draw the line on cultural norms - a thoughtful feminist perspective on the issue
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